Welcome to my inner monologue.
I've recently found myself thinking of the band The Weird Sisters from Harry Potter, and wondering if they ever won a Grammy. I pictured them on stage preforming a song from their "Best New Album" nomination, and imagined that they would probably make excellent music videos. Who needs special effects when you have magic, right?
But then it dawned on me. There is no television in the wizarding world. Why is that?
They clearly use radios (or "wireless" as they refer to it), and The Weird Sisters aren't the only musicians mentioned. Does Celestina Warbeck ever look at the Muggles' MTV and wish she had the opportunity for that creative outlet? Could she release an album to the Muggle market under a pseudonym just for the chance to direct her own video? She could easily put the Confundus Charm on us all and we'd never know what hit us until we all bought it and the record went double platinum.
Now, for those of you who are thinking that maybe there is television but we just don't hear about it, I give you one clear example where if it existed, we would have seen it- The Triwizard Tournament. Where was Wizard ESPN? If there was television coverage, and the dragon task would have made for some excellent tv, they would have been there for the Weighing of the Wands. Each champion would have been interviewed by the wizard-equivalent of Michael Wilbon, then Ollivander would have enjoyed a panel discussion with the folks from Sportscenter. Instead, the only coverage they get is from Rita Skeeter and her pushover photographer, writing a ridiculous story for the Daily Prophet. Cedric Diggory would have been given his fair share of air time had the entire process been televised, and we wouldn't have had to listen to his father complain about it later.
Where was WESPN during the Quidditch World Cup? Had the game been accessible to all fans, poor Neville Longbottom wouldn't have felt so lift out of the conversation during the train ride to Hogwarts on the first day of term. Yes, I understand that forcing people to come to the game to see it drives ticket revenues, but come on now. I am willing to guarantee that at least someone was sending lightning fast owls or performing the Protean Charm on a handkerchief or something to send scoring updates to their family and friends who couldn't come to the game.
The wizarding world may not need text messaging, but it needs television!
During the Battle of Hogwarts, where were the reporters broadcasting from the edge of Hogsmeade, covering and reporting on the action live? It's almost unfair that the entire community who was terrified of Voldemort and his Death Eaters had to wait until the next edition of the Daily Prophet to find out what happened? These people barely bat an eye at a place called "Platform and Three-Quarters", but they don't have twenty-four hour news coverage?
To every witch and wizard out there who is headed to Hogwarts hoping to become and actor, well... good luck.
You're gonna need it.
Feel free to leave a comment below and join the discussion on television and its place in the wizarding world.
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