To be honest, I fall (pun intended) somewhere in the middle. While I will add tights so I can keep wearing my dresses, I have to admit that tights are a great way to add color to my wardrobe.
In honor of Fall, I give you these 20 thoughts to stuff inside the pocket of your favorite sweatshirt.
1. Fall is the time of year we get back out all of the sweaters that we swore we'd donate to the Goodwill once winter was over and yet never got around to.
2. Nothing says Fall like the smell of decay. Leaves and pumpkins are simply there to decompose before our eyes.
3. Every time someone says, "Pumpkin Spice Latte", a pumpkin gets its wings.
4. Every time someone says,, "Pumpkin Spice Latte" while wearing yoga pants, a pumpkin turns into a unicorn.
5. #4 probably isn't true. #3 is, though. Honest.
6. Fall trees are just like toddlers. Just when you think they are cute and adorable, they drop everything on the floor.
7. No gourds were harmed in the making of this article. Honest.
8. Now that Fall is here, you can stop kicking yourself that you never got your bikini body back, and enjoy the next six months before you get to not do it again.
9. Leaves start out green, and then turn red and yellow at the same time. Fall is a confused stoplight.
10. The cooler weather means more office productivity, simply because men are easily distracted by sundresses.
11. Fall is the time of year where we all act really excited about all of the babies being born while trying to pretend we don't know what everyone did while snowed in last winter.
12. We all get another chance to look cuter in a sweater than our dog.
13. We all get another chance to chuckle at those who fail at #12.
14. Now that school has started back up, helping our kids with their homework leads to more people shouting correct answers while watching "Jeopardy."
15. Thanksgiving gives us another chance to tell the story of that one year when our uncle almost burned the deck down while deep frying a turkey.
16. More turtlenecks means less cleavage. Whether that's good or bad depends on who you ask.
17. That house in your neighborhood that leaves their Christmas lights up year round now appears to visitors to be "really on top of things". You know what? Good for them.
18. Hot glue gun burns and other pine cone craft-related injuries increase during Fall. I blame Pinterest.
19. Fewer bugs means less people smell like bug repellent.
20. Less sweating means less people smell like people repellent.
If you enjoy this kind of snarky sarcasm, check out my book, Treadmill Tales: The Hilarious, Ridiculous, Sometimes Mind Boggling Things People Do While Working Out.
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