Today I decided to simply share with you another excerpt from my latest book, "Treadmill Tales: The Hilarious, Ridiculous, Sometimes Mind Boggling Things People Do While Working Out". This book is a collection of stories from both inside the gym and out that has been recently described by readers as "laugh out loud funny". The following story is entitled "Moving Conversations".
We live in a world of constant communication. Text messaging, video messaging, status updates - all of it keeps us connected with the people we love. It also makes it really difficult to avoid someone. Best to add them to your contacts, just so you know not to answer when their name comes up. One option is to change their name there to something like "Satan Spawn", then you REALLY know not to answer.
I did that once to a friend of mine’s phone so he would stop talking to his ex. Years later, her name in his contacts is still the same. Good for him.
Cell phones have become so common on the track that they shouldn't catch my attention anymore, but they do. True, catching up with your mom while exercising is multi-tasking at its most efficient. Depending on your relationship with each other, they both make you sweat. You're just killing two birds with one stone! Who needs all that extra perspiring, anyway?
Some people work out while holding their phones, ready to answer in an instant. Maybe they're hoping to hear from the hottie they went out with last night. Maybe they are expecting the principal to call about their little "angel" ... again. Walking with your phone is easy enough. Lifting weights really requires one of those armbands.
If anyone has figured out how to hold their phone and a free weight at the same time, this I’ve got to see.
But there was one woman who simply boggled my mind while we were on the track together. She was dressed in a blouse and dress pants, shoes with a cute little heel to them, clearly on her way to the office. Chatting on the phone, holding it against her ear with her shoulder, designer handbag on the other walking lap after lap. But let's not forget, we’re on the track at the gym.
I watched her go around and around, probably discussing mergers or something like that, and could come to only one conclusion.
Poor thing. She must have been looking for Nordstrom. Was she hoping that if she kept walking she'd make it there? Did she think she had wandered into the Athletic Department? Maybe this is the sporting goods store next door? I think she was hoping a shop would suddenly pop up right there alongside the track.
For the record, if one did, that would have been awesome. I'd go in just to see what was on sale.
Part of me wanted to ask if she was okay. Did she need us to call someone to come and get her? Were her friends waiting outside a Coach store somewhere looking for her? Did she need water?
But she was on the phone and I didn't want to interrupt her. How rude do you think I am?